"I want to be seen"
If you're yearning to be truly seen, then this may be the how-to guide you've always wished for
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“how does one truly feel seen? i’ve found ways to satisfy this craving through media and books, talking to many many people (friends and strangers), interacting with my environment, processing my thoughts and feelings in solitude, rooting myself in abundance as much as i can, and while all of these certainly scratch the itch i feel like so much of myself is still so contained and desperately yearns to be seen”
While I feel uniquely qualified to answer this question as an Aquarius, known to be the aliens of the star signs, as well as a Projector in Human Design, and growing up as the black sheep of the family…
I know your yearning is not unique to you— and it can be incredibly painful.
After all, we were all born from stardust and come from such a magnificent, unlimited, and conscious space to come live in bodies that break down, minds constrained by time and ego, and a system that is out of sync with nature.
It really can feel like life is just one giant cosmic joke.
But it’s not funny. Especially when we’re being asked to play the game or forfeit with our lives.
Unless…
It is funny, and we can actually have fun playing the game.
So before you continue reading, I really want you to ask yourself if you think that idea is possible & available to you at this time.
Be honest with yourself.
Are you willing to be wrong that people or life itself aren’t actually ignoring you, trying to keep you hidden, or punishing you because you’re not good enough?
If the answer is no, then that’s okay.
Maybe life is actually just too painful right now to laugh. Maybe the odds are so stacked against you that you feel like you can’t even breathe, much less play. Maybe you’ve grown up with the belief that life simply is hard and the idea of it being fun, easy, and not-so-serious actually offends you.
But if the answer is yes, that you’re really ready to laugh in the face of life itself and start playing the game to win rather than playing not to lose, then I have one question for you:
“What do you want to be seen for?”
It is not enough to feel seen by others— you must see yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a simple truth but it’s so challenging to actually integrate. In fact, this is the core of so many of my sessions both with clients and for myself. That’s why there’s this proverbial, “journey” some of us take to find ourselves because, truly, life is too painful not to.
I always say, “life is too short to not do what you really want to do and too painfully long to not be who you truly are.”
You really can’t avoid this work if you want to live freely, because who you are will not aligned with your true self and nothing you do or say will fully come across as authentic.
Whether it’s someone feeling unseen by a partner, parent, or people on the internet, there’s a deep pain response that gets triggered and we feel small, deflated, maybe even angry or depressed. Meanwhile, the key to being seen is actually just one question away.
Because once you process the pain of feeling unseen, you can focus on being seen for what you actually want to be seen for.
Which brings me to my second point.
Feeling seen is different from being seen.
The delineation for me lies in the idea that feeling seen happens when others approach you to acknowledge something you want to be seen for, and being seen happens when you are just fully expressing, living, or existing as yourself and others acknowledge you along the way in any way.
For example:
Feeling Seen— A stranger walks by you and says, “I love your shoes!” and you light up and say, “thank you!” as you praise yourself for your tasteful choice in shoes as well as deciding to wear them this morning. Their compliment just made your day!
Being Seen— You got dressed this morning feeling so excited for an event later and knew you wanted to wear shoes that were stylish and comfortable enough to walk a mile in. As you’re walking to the venue, you pass by a stranger and they say, “I love your shoes!” and you say, “oh thanks! they’re from…” and you end up connecting with them over sustainable fashion and exchanging numbers.
Feeling seen is just that, a feeling! It feels so good to feel seen and while we love feeling feelings, we also need to be aware that all feelings are fleeting. If you focus on feeling seen, it ends up being the same game as trying to be happy. Even though you might logically know you’ll never feel happy 100% of the time, you play the game trying to optimize for being happy as often and for as long as possible. If you try to be seen, then you’ll be left feeling disappointed, ignored, or even unworthy simply because you’re not constantly getting the acknowledgement you want to the level you want when you want it.
Being seen is a result of you living authentically and letting your soul essence shine without you trying. It’s like the sustainable version of feeling seen, just like how joy is the sustainable version of happiness. You don’t need to be happy in the moment to live joyfully because you know you have access to happiness. Just knowing you have your favorite matcha cafe down the street or that you can go outside and be in sunlight can bring you a feeling of joy, even though you don’t need to actually go to the cafe and be outside right now. In the same vein, knowing not only what magnificence you see in yourself, but also that you are open to being seen as your authentic self is what allows life to feel like a game you’re playing rather than a game that’s playing you.
However, most of us avoid being seen.
While you may genuinely wish to be seen (and your soul is driving this because it knows you are a light that needs to be shown!) childhood traumas, decades of self-criticism, and tons of social conditioning has made being seen feel incredibly unsafe.
In order for you to be seen, you need to feel safe to actually be yourself.
That yearning you feel to be seen is actually a yearning to express, to create, and to live freely.
While we can’t control when, how, or whether or not someone sees us, we can control what energize ourselves with and how we use our energy. Which is why before you can be seen, you need to know who it is that you are, what you want to be seen for, and live as that version of yourself until the, “how” reveals itself to you.
I believe that life continuously meets us at our level of being, and it mirrors to us what we predominantly see in ourselves— even if it’s not what we want to see.
If you find yourself in this situation, then just know it’s all just a game and you can just get a more flattering mirror.
With magic,
The Soul Whisperer
P.S. One of the biggest blocks to being seen is, unsurprisingly, the fear of being seen.
As an RTT® Hypnotherapist and spiritual guide, I work with your subconscious mind and energy body to clear the fear and any other limiting beliefs, unhelpful habits, and stuck emotion that’s holding you back. After our work together, it’ll feel safe, natural, and easy for you to be seen for exactly you want, and those who don’t see you won’t bother you. I have a limited number of spots available every month, so click here to book your assessment & get started.